Leave the car running in the cold. Step out of the driver’s seat while that song you loved plays on the radio. Unlock the bolt and count each step I’m taking into your old home. I’m breathing out your name. I see it in the air, ask the darkness if there’s any way you could still be here. But I know. There are hopes and there are ghosts. Can you tell me if it hurts? When you were dying alone, I was out drinking with friends. How many cars on that road just drove by? I schedule my appointments for any time I think I’ll think and think of you. I keep all my prescription pills in a coffee can. I always know where the exits are. I keep a planner with nothing written in it. I still flip through its pages. I’ve stored away some larger bills. I drink from paper cups and stay away from messes I can’t just wipe away. I see it. It’s so clear. Your daughter dancing. Her small feet on top of these cheap black dress shoes.
released September 9, 2016
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